Monday, February 27, 2006
Things are settled now. The kids are clean and asleep. I am about to crawl into bed with some soothing peppermint team and we will hopefully call it a day at the house of sick. Fun times have been had by all.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Brief recap of our Valentine's day. Kids had some yummy mac&cheese, carrots and cupcakes for dessert. We decided to wait until the kids were in bed to order some takeout from the hawaiian cafe by our house but they were closed (boohoo!). So we checked out the other places by our house that S could walk to and we found Chaba Thai. Let me just quote my kids here, it was "yummy in the tummy". I have now decided that if i win the lottery we will eat from Chaba Thai every night, well at least once or twice a week. Then we rented a movie "Just Like Heaven" with Reece Witherspoon. It was cute and filmed in San Francisco which I loved. I think SF is one of the best movie locations ever. Then we just hung out and talked about us. Where we have been in the past 8 years, where we want to be in the next 8, we drank wine and had some cupcakes courtesy of the kiddos. I stayed up too late and was way tired the next day, but it was a nice, happy evening.
What has worked for other mamas? I see the ads for the baby boot camp, but since I work during the day I don’t really have time. They have a health club on site but since I am a contract employee I do not have privileges. I could always do some tapes after the kids go to bed but then that would wake me up when I need to be getting ready for bed. I already have to get up at 5:00, the thought getting up at 4:00am is just depressing. So what do I do? I have thought about walking even more. Doing some power walks at lunch, trying to squeeze in some yoga before bed. I know just a bunch of excuses, but they are good ones aren't they?
Do you ever just feel like life as a mama consists of a giant “To Do” list of all the things you had time for before kids. I now seem to only have time for work, eat, sleep and kids. Where can I find a little time for me?
Friday, February 17, 2006
Being a working mama I treasure those few hours after work to hang out with the kids, eat some dinner, give them baths, read stories and snuggle with them before bed. Instead of spending time with them I got to listen to the crazy guy who sang songs when he picked up litter, or the guy who was afraid he might lose his job at an athletic footwear store because he might go to jail for robbery, or the tweaked out couple who made out the whole time and smelled like they had pissed on themselves. Yes, this is why I heart MAX on a crappy Friday night.
I really do love Portland and I think their public transportation system is pretty good, not to mention the fact it doesn't cost me $10 a day like some cities (SF), there are just some days where I want to me home cuddled up with my family and today MAX kept me from that.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
1. List of house projects - there are so many, everywhere I look there is a project that is half done. I don't know where we will find the time with two kids running around. We need to just have my parents come visit for a few weekends in a row to watch the kids so we can get this place in shape. Things to do: paint trim in bathroom, paint bedroom, build new bed, sew window coverings for Aly's room, paint trim in her room and Cat's room, put up molding in kitchen, paint basement, finish stripping wallpaper off basement bathroom and upstairs hallway & paint both, clear out garage, clean and fix gutters, paint the house, landscape, replace the fireplace mantel and screen in the living room.
2. Things we have been needing to sell since we move up here - Old baby things (some need to just be donated and some we can sell), S' car (it has been sitting in our driveway for a while now), our dresser (once we sell it we can buy our new one), the rocker and crib (I am going to transition Aly to her toddler bed and I just want to get rid of the crib, the rocker just takes up room in her already small bedroom), I would love to sell the gigantic recliner aka "man chair" in the living room (S loves it so, he thinks it is such a great chair but he doesn't realize that I agreed to that purchase only because I knew he liked it so much, it is comfy but I think pretty ugly).
3. We need more money to do all of the projects above, which if we sold the items, also listed above it might solve our money problem. I have started working overtime, work is getting busy so at least that will give us a little extra each month.
4. I want to start my own business, creating stuffed creatures, I don't want to call them animals. I have been calling them Aly Cats after Aly and Cat. Yes, one of them is a cat, but I have also done fish and dinosaurs. The kids love them and I think it is fun to create them and try out new fabrics, but since we have all of these other things to do I feel guilty for spending time doing this when I could be working on another project.
5. I would love to only work part-time but I don't know if I have patience for these kids. Seriously, I think S has way more patience then me, I just get so stressed sometimes. But I think it would be so great if S went back to teaching and I worked mornings somewhere, then at least we would both be home in the afternoons together when naps are all done.
6. I miss my friends back in California. I am slowly starting to meet some new friends but when you are working so much and getting home with barely enough time to spend with your family let alone have a little meditation time for yourself it is hard to find time to hang out with the girls. Plus a lot of the moms that I know aren't working outside of the home, they have time during the week to take the kids to playgroups and get together. I don't have that right now. I miss my friends J & A especially. It just is not the same talking on the phone or sending emails. I miss lunchtime pedicures or the early days we would plan to go catch the latest chick flick or just bitch about our kids or husband or job. A will be visiting soon with the hubby and kids in tow. We are going to leave the kids with the guys on Saturday and go out. We actually first met in Portland as roommates at UP. We both only went there for one semester (it's a great school just not for us, Go PILOTS!) but we have stayed best friends ever since. We have had ups and downs but we have remained friends and I am so happy they are coming to visit. Now how do I convince them to move here?
7. My parents might be moving to Portland from Seattle - My mom and dad want to be closer to us. They want to be able to see the kids more. They also want to be able to retire and start their own business. I would love for them to move to Portland, I am really close to my parents and I would love for Cat and Aly to grow up with them around. I never had grandparents that I was close to and so I really want that for my girls. But if it doesn't happen I don't want to be letdown. I don't want to make plans in my head and then feel let down because it didn't pan out.
Well, I think that is everything that I have been lying here thinking about. Boy what a ramble, but it sure feels good to get it all out.
One good thing with being up at 4am, you can do some great shopping. I found some danskos on sale in my size only for $55.00 bucks, plus a valentine's present for S. At least I am being productive in some ways.
Monday, February 06, 2006
In the last three years we went from living in Sacramento to moving to Portland. I love Portland so much. Many people don’t know this but I lived here for a short period of time when I attended University of Portland for a semester. I had to leave because I couldn’t afford private school tuition and ventured back up to Washington where the inexpensive state resident tuition beckoned. I always knew I would come back because Portland has everything that I grew up with in Seattle. A place for my kids to call home. Real neighborhoods, kid friendly restaurants and stores, tons of parks and great classes. Whoever said that everyone is leaving city for the suburbs hasn’t visited our street. We have a bunch of kids here all around the same age as Cat and Aly. They will all walk to school together and hope they never leave so that they all can all grow together, like I did with my friends growing up.
So I sat in my meeting and was having a hard time concentrating because I was just sitting their thinking about my little family. How great they are, and how lucky I am to have them. I wish I was there with them right now, but only a few hours to go and I will be home. Maybe I will enjoy that weekend I was lamenting about in an earlier post afterall.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
So now that the wonderful Seahawks have lost, I get to have kid duty on an appointed weekend and Saxman gets to go off and do whatever he wants, camping, travel, whatever. He might just go off to a hotel and get away for a few days. Sure maybe the Seahawks could have won and then the tables would have been turned, but no my dream of a weekend all to myself was completely dashed.
I should look at the bright side of this. I work all week long and see the kids afterwork and on weekends and I always talk about how much I miss them, and I do. I love spending time with them. But I am so burnt out right now that the thought of 48 hours of peaceful, do whatever the f*ck I want time sounds so incredibly blissful that I just put all my chips in, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. To rub salt into my wound this loss also happened to occur on the same night that Cat refused to go to sleep. She was still awake just an hour ago. She had to go pee, or get a drink of water, or pile her bed high with books. She was driving both of us crazy, so the thought of a weekend of defiant little 3yo behaviour just made me a little sad.
So what should I do to turn my frown upside down? Well, I think this calls for a trip to Seattle to drop the kids off at my folks house, I will check myself into a nice little hotel. Hook up the free Wifi, do some shopping, work on the look of Mama Land (possibly change locations) and relax. Because after all is said and done, a relaxed, happy mama is a much nicer mama to have around.
Tomorrow they are having a Super Bowl sale, Bali Cotton are 50%. If you haven't been go check them out, or at least go to their website. Their sales are good online too, but they don't have the selection on line like they do in the store.
Saturday, February 04, 2006
As I write this Cat is sitting at the table eating her afternoon snack (her favorite meal of the day), blowing bubbles in her juice and pretending to burp. Then she laughs as if it is the funniest thing in the world. The mama in me tells her to not make those noises, but the kid in me just has to laugh, she is pretty cute. I guess if she wasn't all these little things would drive me crazy.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
So what would I do if I had time, if I could do whatever I wanted to do? My education background is in public policy, which I love and find incredibly interesting. My love growing up was architecture and design (although you can't really tell by looking at our house). I love being a mama and teaching my girls about the world. I would love to find a partner and help start a business. So how would I do all these things? I would find a job where I could work part time on public policy issues, specifically water resources which is what I worked on in California. Then I might be able to carve out some time during the week to work on fixing up our home and making it a cute little hybrid mid-century modern/craftsman house. Spend some time each week showing my girls all the great things in Portland, taking them to classes, to the library, running around our fabulous neighborhood. Last but not least helping my mom start her own garden design consulting company, this would only be fitting for the world's best gardener/nana.
However, right now I can't be all those things, reality knocks me on the head to remind me that I am the primary bread winner at the moment. I work and my husband stays home with the kids. That is what we do. At night when the kids go to bed he rehearses and I try to have a little time by myself. He promises me that when his band finishes recording their album and sells millions of copies I can quit my job, and do whatever I want to do but that hasn't happened yet. But when it does I will have a plan.
The whole point I am trying to make is that I don't remember caring why I couldn't have Barbies, I just remember them being so fun to play with at my friends house and that my mom, the meanie, wouldn't let me have some too. Now I have this great dislike for Barbie, I just don't want Cat to have them. So I try to introduce other dolls, Groovy Girls for instance, they don't have huge breast sans nipples like Barbie.
I want my daughters to discover on their own what they like and what they don't. I just need to stop grimacing when they spot a Barbie. And so help me God if my mom buys them Barbies I will be beyond pissed.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
So Happy Birthday Theo, I hope all your wishes came true!