Friday, March 03, 2006

still crazy after all these years

I found that the hardest thing to deal with after having kids was the sudden loss of my old identity. No matter how you spin it you will never be the same woman. You are now and will always be a Mama and it will affect how you live your life. You are now torn between your own needs as a woman and the needs of your child as his/her mama. This causes mucho confusion in many new mamas’ lives. Every mama at some point asks herself “who am I now?”

I asked myself this when my first daughter was born and I realized that for me to be a great mama and a role model for my child I needed to remember the old me. I needed to not only nurture Cat’s spirit but also continue to nurture my own. I love both of my girls to pieces. They are just the coolest chickadees in the world and the best present I can give them is to be the hip chick I was before they were born (or at least thought I was), but maybe just a little less self indulgent.

When the writing collaboration on Crazy Hip Blog Mamas asked: “What does being a Crazy Hip Blog Mama mean to you?” I knew my answer. It means I want my girls to never keep their feelings bottled up, always find an outlet, whether it is talking to your friends, writing a blog, finding a therapist, whatever it takes just do it. Never let someone else, even their own child, take so much control over their life that they lose their spirit, that special essence that makes them who they are. So I write to get my thoughts out, my frustrations, my happiness, and the random thoughts that float around in my brain. I blog in the hopes that one day my girls will read these entries and realize that even when you become a mama you don’t have to lose your crazy hip ways. I strive to be crazier and hipper everyday as well as continue to learn who I am through each entry in this blog. After all it is just another day in Mama Land.

3 comments:

Undercover Angel said...

I know what you are saying here. I sometimes feel that I've lost my identity since having my children. I'm no longer me, I'm mommy. That's why I blog too - my blog is a place where I can be me and have my own identity and share my own feelings.

J's Mommy said...

well said!!

Chaotic Mom said...

Yes, this kind of IS like keeping a diary. Haven't thought about my boys reading mine someday. Hmmm...