Sunday, February 12, 2006

4am

Yes, I said it 4am and I am awake. Insomnia has hit me hard tonight, there are so many things rolling around in my brain. So since this is my mama journal afterl all, I will try and list them all out here and then maybe I can get a little sleep before my 3yo comes crawling into bed with me which usually happens around 6:30.

1. List of house projects - there are so many, everywhere I look there is a project that is half done. I don't know where we will find the time with two kids running around. We need to just have my parents come visit for a few weekends in a row to watch the kids so we can get this place in shape. Things to do: paint trim in bathroom, paint bedroom, build new bed, sew window coverings for Aly's room, paint trim in her room and Cat's room, put up molding in kitchen, paint basement, finish stripping wallpaper off basement bathroom and upstairs hallway & paint both, clear out garage, clean and fix gutters, paint the house, landscape, replace the fireplace mantel and screen in the living room.

2. Things we have been needing to sell since we move up here - Old baby things (some need to just be donated and some we can sell), S' car (it has been sitting in our driveway for a while now), our dresser (once we sell it we can buy our new one), the rocker and crib (I am going to transition Aly to her toddler bed and I just want to get rid of the crib, the rocker just takes up room in her already small bedroom), I would love to sell the gigantic recliner aka "man chair" in the living room (S loves it so, he thinks it is such a great chair but he doesn't realize that I agreed to that purchase only because I knew he liked it so much, it is comfy but I think pretty ugly).

3. We need more money to do all of the projects above, which if we sold the items, also listed above it might solve our money problem. I have started working overtime, work is getting busy so at least that will give us a little extra each month.

4. I want to start my own business, creating stuffed creatures, I don't want to call them animals. I have been calling them Aly Cats after Aly and Cat. Yes, one of them is a cat, but I have also done fish and dinosaurs. The kids love them and I think it is fun to create them and try out new fabrics, but since we have all of these other things to do I feel guilty for spending time doing this when I could be working on another project.

5. I would love to only work part-time but I don't know if I have patience for these kids. Seriously, I think S has way more patience then me, I just get so stressed sometimes. But I think it would be so great if S went back to teaching and I worked mornings somewhere, then at least we would both be home in the afternoons together when naps are all done.

6. I miss my friends back in California. I am slowly starting to meet some new friends but when you are working so much and getting home with barely enough time to spend with your family let alone have a little meditation time for yourself it is hard to find time to hang out with the girls. Plus a lot of the moms that I know aren't working outside of the home, they have time during the week to take the kids to playgroups and get together. I don't have that right now. I miss my friends J & A especially. It just is not the same talking on the phone or sending emails. I miss lunchtime pedicures or the early days we would plan to go catch the latest chick flick or just bitch about our kids or husband or job. A will be visiting soon with the hubby and kids in tow. We are going to leave the kids with the guys on Saturday and go out. We actually first met in Portland as roommates at UP. We both only went there for one semester (it's a great school just not for us, Go PILOTS!) but we have stayed best friends ever since. We have had ups and downs but we have remained friends and I am so happy they are coming to visit. Now how do I convince them to move here?

7. My parents might be moving to Portland from Seattle - My mom and dad want to be closer to us. They want to be able to see the kids more. They also want to be able to retire and start their own business. I would love for them to move to Portland, I am really close to my parents and I would love for Cat and Aly to grow up with them around. I never had grandparents that I was close to and so I really want that for my girls. But if it doesn't happen I don't want to be letdown. I don't want to make plans in my head and then feel let down because it didn't pan out.

Well, I think that is everything that I have been lying here thinking about. Boy what a ramble, but it sure feels good to get it all out.

One good thing with being up at 4am, you can do some great shopping. I found some danskos on sale in my size only for $55.00 bucks, plus a valentine's present for S. At least I am being productive in some ways.

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